One day after lunch in the cafeteria, my colleague and I continued our personal conversation as we walked down the tree-lined quad to the gated entrance of our building. As we badged in, Elsa said, “I’ll put you on my repair list.”
“Thanks,” I said. “My life could use some repairs!”
We both knew she meant to say “prayer” list, so we had a good laugh. I appreciated her sincere concern and genuine good humor. And I loved the idea of being on practical Elsa’s no-nonsense repair list, because a lot of things in my world were broken and needed fixing, including my leg.
I was healing from a fractured fibula just above the ankle after tripping over the gas pump hose while the nozzle was still in my car’s gas tank. The black walking boot would be my constant companion for several more weeks; I worked on the fourth floor in a building whose elevator didn’t always cooperate. I was also preoccupied on the job by long-distance eldercare duties and had recently had a breast cancer scare.
Repairs are practical responses to trouble spots: Visible restoration efforts, tangible mending, careful reconstruction. With repairs, there is a definite before and after. It didn’t work, and now it does. Yesterday your windshield was cracked by flying debris and today you have a clear line of sight. Maybe not all repairs make something “as good as new,” but damage can be overcome with human ingenuity and effort.
Prayer, on the other hand, is intangible, immaterial. Much harder to grasp than a hammer and nails, yet stickier than duct tape. Prayer and I, as you may have guessed, have a fraught relationship, cultivated over many years of daily intimacy followed by great distance.
Praying “to,” “over,” “with,” and “for”—those prepositions once part of my spiritual repertoire—have instead become “practices of.” A practice of mindful noticing, of gratitude, of desire. A practice of solitude, of solace, of intention. A practice of connection, curiosity, wonder. A practice of hope, and sometimes, despair.
The presence in our world of war, hate, and senseless killing—whether in Ukraine or Albuquerque, Maine or the Middle East—demands a response. I don’t have a large enough repair kit for such a long, complicated to-do list. So maybe it’s time to pray for peace in whatever way you know. Breathe.
May we all find our way.
Practical Elsa!! 💜
We are all in need of repair at various points in our life. If prayer is the vehicle to repair, then so be it. Sometimes, it doesn't hurt to double dip. Maybe practical prayer is the answer. Practical minds and actions paired with the hope of divine intervention to help us succeed in our efforts. Leaving the eradication of war, hate, and senseless killing up to an ephemeral being does not sound practical to me. I guess I'll keep rooting for us flawed humans with the hope that a higher being may someday soon give us all a collective divine kick in the butt.
Lovely, Andi. Thank you for this.